How to Improve Your Professional Communication Skills and Build Stronger Workplace Relationships

If you’re able to get so much more done at work due to the plethora of digital tools, including AI, what does that leave more time for? You guessed it, communication. What you might not guess is that some people could communicate a lot, week after week, and still not get better. How is that possible?

Well, it’s like a bad swing in the sport of your choice. Unless you analyze it, study what others do, get an outside opinion and then give alternatives a try, you’ll keep swinging badly.

Most of us don’t go through the steps listed above to get better at communicating even though our professional lives literally depend on it. Since I’ve studied communication for many years and work on it regularly with clients, I have a few ideas to share that have helped others improve.

Ask Questions For Which You Have No Answers

Idea number one is to ask questions for which you have no answers. This idea probably needs some explanation. Oftentimes in communication, people are seeking to get the other person to do what we want them to do. For example, if we believe a person should let their directs decide on the agenda for their 1-on-1s you might ask the question, “Don’t you think your directs would be more engaged in their 1-on-1s if they set the agenda?”

This question is problematic because it isn’t rooted in curiosity and may even create defensiveness.

You must be curious to ask questions for which you have no answers. For example, you might ask, “How engaged are your directs in your 1-on-1s?”

This question can only come from a place of not knowing since we’re not in the room when these meetings are happening. It also shows interest, which likely can only be construed positively.

Connection, learning, trust and innovation are byproducts of conversations filled with questions for which we have no answers. If you reflect on questions you’ve posed in your recent conversations and find that they’re not rooted in curiosity, you might give this new approach a try. It’s harder than you think.

State Your Intentions

Idea number two is to state your intentions. Misunderstandings sometimes happen because the other side assumed something you didn’t intend. This type of situation can be prevented in many cases by stating your intentions up front. For example, when facing a difficult conversation over an unfavorable incident, you might state your intention up front by saying something like this, “I want you to know before we get into what happened that I appreciate you and only want to learn from this situation.”

There was a time when I launched into a conversation with an employee regarding their use of company software for personal reasons. I didn’t think it was right and wanted to convey that I would have appreciated being asked up front if it was okay, which it would have been. Since I didn’t initially state my intention that this is not a big issue but rather a teachable moment, the employee thought the conversation was leading to a dismissal.

After getting over my surprise at how badly the conversation was going, I had to regroup and then state that they are not even close to being terminated for this action. I just wanted them to do things differently the next time. Things got better after that, but I could have avoided sending my employee into a state of anxiety by stating my intention up front.

We often assume our intentions are being read appropriately. Unfortunately, people see the world through their lens and filters and not ours. They are hearing what we are saying and then running our words through those filters. This may easily lead them to think things that are untrue.

Don’t you have recollections of conversations that didn’t go well where you said, “But that wasn’t my intention!”

Start by understanding for yourself what is the intention of the conversation you want to have. Then, think about how best to state it at the outset of the conversation. By getting comfortable with this, you’re likely to have fewer conversations go sideways. Doing this will build trust and connection.

Listen To Connect

The third idea is to listen to connect. Why do you listen to the other person? To understand? To influence and persuade?

A higher level is to listen to connect. That is, you’re actually seeking to know the person at a deeper level. What do they believe and value? What are they feeling? When we decide to get to know the other person at a deeper level, our listening transforms. We tune in more acutely and worry less about what we’re going to say, which is the opposite of how we conduct most conversations.

What does this look like? You are not formulating your next statement or question while they are speaking. Instead, you are truly listening to their words and viewing their body language and sensing their emotions.

When they are done, you let what they said sink in for a few seconds, then formulate your response. It will feel unnatural to both of you. Now, of course, you’re not going to do this with every conversation you have throughout the day. But when you want to have a conversation that matters, listen to connect and you’ll see and feel that it’s different.

Try to listen to connect for a few conversations each day to develop the habit. You’ll find this approach builds trust, deepens connection, increases understanding and elevates engagement. It’s a win-win on many levels.

I have many more ideas to share and will do so in a future article. Give these initial ideas a try and see how your communication skills improve. Let me know how it goes!

Emotional intelligence is an important part of communication. Check out our emotional intelligence classes or contact us to learn more.

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